a kiss

[Leanne]

Hi summermoose.  I have enormous respect for any poet who tackles a subject like this (or indeed any subject at all) with determination not to fall into cliche.  You have drawn upon the senses to map your kiss and you're very close to pulling it off, but the problem for me lies in your first stanza.  You begin and end that stanza by addressing the visual -- the image of a hand-written message, and the return to eyes -- but the middle is hearing, which is covered more thoroughly in the final (quite lovely) stanza and doesn't really have a place here.  Also, I think "heavy-breath metaphor" is your closest trip toward cliche.  I would suggest revisiting that second line to make the third seem less out of place (because I quite like "punctuated by eyes" but it's lost at the moment).  

Your second stanza has grammar issues.  You don't need a dash on the first line, and you should have "wait" on the second.  Also, you again confuse your senses a little bit as you start that stanza with touch.  You could instead give the impression of reading Braille (but don't say that of course, as it's kind of cheesy).  Maybe even something along the lines of "fingers receive messages through fluent body language".  

The third stanza is probably best left alone, with the possible exception of replacing that dash with a comma.  

A kiss
A delicate hand-written message
speaks in heavy-breath metaphor,
punctuated by eyes.

A touch signs the letter -
I eagerly await to read, boldly written in
fluent body language.

Lips say more when unattached to words.
Closing our eyes –
we converse.