a kiss

a kiss

summermoose Offline

Junior Member

Posts: 23
Threads: 4
Joined: Mar 2015

03-27-2015, 10:10 AM

That's some great feedback, particularly about the "eyes" line. It is definitely begging for some description. The punctuation feedback help a lot as well.

good material to take into a rewrite. Thanks Paul!

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Messages In This Thread

a kiss - by summermoose - 03-27-2015, 08:28 AM

RE: a kiss - by Tiger the Lion - 03-27-2015, 09:15 AM

RE: a kiss - by summermoose - 03-27-2015, 10:10 AM

RE: a kiss - by hopefularahant - 03-28-2015, 03:26 AM

RE: a kiss - by just mercedes - 03-28-2015, 06:35 AM

RE: a kiss - by kwokfreya - 03-28-2015, 05:23 PM

RE: a kiss - by Leanne - 03-29-2015, 06:23 AM

RE: a kiss - by nakedwonder - 03-29-2015, 09:34 AM

RE: a kiss - by LorettaYoung - 03-30-2015, 09:09 AM

RE: a kiss - by Richie C - 03-30-2015, 10:53 PM

RE: a kiss - by phenomena - 05-08-2015, 02:42 AM

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