My First Post

[ellajam]

Hello all,
This is my first post.  Thanks ahead for your honest feedback.

UNTITLED
Years have past
Leaders have changed
Old song, old movies
Smile in the morning while rain is falling
Cup of tea, with dried fruit
Moon and book are friends together
Dark and light are connected
Knowledge is my neighbor
Tower in the city
Turn on the radio like lullaby at night
Quiet nature makes my spirit awake
Opened the window to welcome the wind
Ghost-like music, whisper to my ears
Unknown words make my day complete
Empty bottle full of memories
Body cold, borrowing feathers and wings
Angry world
Don’t steal my breath away
Voices in the ocean
Messenger from the mountains
Myth of love, stars gave us
Mother Earth keep me in your warm embrace.

By Daroma

Hi, and welcome.I looked through to see what you could take from this to build on. The only line that struck me was "Body cold, borrowing feathers and wings". I have no idea what it means but it was the only line that made me think. I assume you know what it means, maybe you can work with it.

There is a link on the home page to Colin Ward's poetry tips. It's a fun read full of reminders of what to look out for.

Hope you enjoy the site.

Oh, and titles are hard for me too, but they are your first chance to draw a reader in. If you value a piece enough to work on it at least give us a way to to identify it.