03-23-2015, 12:57 AM
A list of dependent clauses do not a poem make.
Picnic at sunset
dog pees on coach
mother's hair on fire
cousin in a body bag
chill before morning
holding hands
chapped lips
hating job at factory
things should be better
Billy at the pool
cat's cradle under table
Moonpies in September
Orange moon in October
wet skin and weeping willow
hoping mother won't forget to pick us up...again
The only reason someone might think this is a poem, is because they have the knowledge that connects these clauses together, however as the reader does not have this information, it comes across as just a parade of meaningless phrases. Nothing much else to say, except start anew and write in complete sentences. The idea of any writing is to communicate, if communication is not achieved, then the writing is a failure. Any form of writing is subject to the rules that govern all other forms of writing, this includes poetry.
Welcome to the site,
Dale
Picnic at sunset
dog pees on coach
mother's hair on fire
cousin in a body bag
chill before morning
holding hands
chapped lips
hating job at factory
things should be better
Billy at the pool
cat's cradle under table
Moonpies in September
Orange moon in October
wet skin and weeping willow
hoping mother won't forget to pick us up...again
The only reason someone might think this is a poem, is because they have the knowledge that connects these clauses together, however as the reader does not have this information, it comes across as just a parade of meaningless phrases. Nothing much else to say, except start anew and write in complete sentences. The idea of any writing is to communicate, if communication is not achieved, then the writing is a failure. Any form of writing is subject to the rules that govern all other forms of writing, this includes poetry.
Welcome to the site,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.