Reluctant Flower-edit 2 (Erthona, ellajam, Psyche)

[LorettaYoung]

for me it's a journey of purity to impurity. from beauty to ugly
from happy to sad. [metaphorically speaking; impure ugly sad on the inside, loathing oneself] all in all a good
effort. the rhyme feels okay (apart from 1st 2 lines) and the meter works [though i struggled with it in the last line.] could be made into a passable sonnet with a few less lines.

Reluctant Flower
She thought she was a flower child 2nd flower takes away from flower in the title.
passing scents frm verdant vines, from
picked from sultry virgin flowers this line feels like it's working to hard. to say something without much success, also 3rd use of flower
that thrived in luscious colored bowers.
She sauntered through a winding path
of cries and wonder, grapes of wrath. while grapes of wrath is the title of a Steinbeck classic, it does work well with the vine line though it's the anti-thesis of many words around it (wonder, wanderlust, dreams of bliss.
Along the twisted turns a mist
of wanderlust and dreams of bliss.
But buried deep and kept confined,
the wounds of misadventure pined.
Tormenting trials that with time grew;
a tasty treat for satan's stew.
Reluctant flower in the glade, the repetition of flower doesn't work for me
on beds of thorns your petal's strayed;
where ripped to shreds by sharpened blades
then blown to dust in life's parades.
How apropos that clocks are made. i think this could be better worded as it jars when i read it
g.e.Kaye 3/17/15

Hi Billy: Yes, I agree with your vision; I wasn't thinking ugly, but since you are not the first to interpret it that way I must agree. I can see I must rewrite the first four lines.
Its a winding path I said before; she cried with joys and pain, encounter wonders, but also wrath; aren't all winding paths full of some of each.
Too many flower is the consensus of opinion; I will fix that when I rewrite.
And, as I see the consensus being the last line as problematic, I will most likely delete.
Thanks very much Billy, for reading and your helpful comments. Best Loretta

PS: A sonnet is an interesting idea billy.