03-18-2015, 03:25 PM
Hi ella, in both editions I cannot tell who is who, or really what the setup is, or why it is that way. I would like to know those things as it provides context for the piece.
Here is an example with how you are writing things.
"Upset by an abrupt bedtime drop-off, who is upset and what is a bed drop-off
finally finished with "But, I want Dad"" what is finally finished "with" the bed drop off, or the "But, I want Dad"?
why is the (we assume little girl) child saying, "but, I want my dad" Does this mean the child has her mother instead but wants her father there, or is it a sibling or her grandmother? I get so caught up in trying to decide these things I cannot get into the story. I am all for brevity, but not at the sake of clarity.
context please,
Dale
Here is an example with how you are writing things.
"Upset by an abrupt bedtime drop-off, who is upset and what is a bed drop-off
finally finished with "But, I want Dad"" what is finally finished "with" the bed drop off, or the "But, I want Dad"?
why is the (we assume little girl) child saying, "but, I want my dad" Does this mean the child has her mother instead but wants her father there, or is it a sibling or her grandmother? I get so caught up in trying to decide these things I cannot get into the story. I am all for brevity, but not at the sake of clarity.
context please,
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.