03-17-2015, 01:01 PM
hi leah. thanks for the feedback. the first line [it's] is a contraction of it is stood. as to the 2nd it's i thought it was its after someone elses feedback, now i'm not sure:d.
yes on the period L2
i say bollywooden because it's a light hearted poem and i liked the sound of it and the play on words but i can see where you come from with it.
the hyphen can go.
yes on comma after bike (i'll take your word on it as my punctuation sucks)
blues to rhyme with the word i should have used instead of out (i cocked it up, the out line should have rhymed with buy/lie.
thanks for taking the time to read and for leaving some solid feedback, it'll help me when i edit.
yes on the period L2
i say bollywooden because it's a light hearted poem and i liked the sound of it and the play on words but i can see where you come from with it.
the hyphen can go.
yes on comma after bike (i'll take your word on it as my punctuation sucks)
blues to rhyme with the word i should have used instead of out (i cocked it up, the out line should have rhymed with buy/lie.
thanks for taking the time to read and for leaving some solid feedback, it'll help me when i edit.