The Fence

[onepapa]

I watch the ghosts in the evening haze might be a little pedantic, but I find "evening" an oddly long word for the rest of that line; it's the only one with more than one syllable, so having three syllables just drags it a little extra. Evening is also quite a dull connotation; while you do neatly circumvent the ghosts coming out at night idea, I don't see what specifying the evening adds to this. I think morning or dawn might be an interesting idea to play with if you were intentionally circumventing the night idea. Othewrise, try a one or two syllable word and see if that reads better? Two might work, since you have pasture in the second line.
along the pasture fence. using ghost and pasture together gives this poem quite a homely start.

We built that fence fifty years ago, again pedantic, but "ago" is a rather common way to describe time. It's not something that's going to make that line stick in my head -though it might be appropriate; you don't have many fancy word so as a stylistic choice that works well. Just consider which images you /do/ want to stick out. Reading the rest of the poem, this line could appear in the end instead and accomplish much the same thing but without setting a pre-expectation. Either way works I think, but it's something interesting to think about.
my back wet from driving pick and shovel, I read this line a few times, then caught the almost bell-like tone in it. Nice!
placing the posts exactly where Grandfather pointed. this line reads more like prose than poetry to me. It's a little...wordy? Descriptive? Not sure which - it just seems a little longer than the others, which makes it stick out a little.

My aching fingers like broken sticks I wonder if broken isn't too strong a word here. Aching and broken really don't go together - aching is dull, breaks are sharp. Then again, I'm a med student so we need to drill that difference into our heads. But I'd recommend against broken. Bent maybe? Or however you describe impressions from wires into fingers... Stiff?
from stretching barbed wire in perfect lines
on posts flawlessly spaced. flawless is an interesting choice here. Works well with the next stanza, but without it it begs the question aso why you didn't use something like "exact"

He towered above me.
"Build it well," he said,
"and it will last longer than we will." the "will" reads redundantly here. You could end the sentence at "we" and it loses nothing. Personally, I think it gains a hint of rhyme (me/we) to add to the piece.

A breeze swirls the ghosts and haze away I find this more of a morning than an afternoon image. Sundew glistening in the morning sun sort of image.
from the glistening taut wire. realistically, no matter how well you build a barbed wire, it will have rusted at the very least I believe. And the wood would have darkened and been battered. If it still stands, perhaps that's the sort of image you should try to end on? As opposed to this fantasical everlasting image? Despite the mention of ghosts, this piece has quite a realistic feel to it, hence the ending reads a little oddly compared to the rest of the piece.

Personally, I think short works well for this piece. But I prefer short poems in general so that might just be a personal choice. Nice work and looking forward to seeing how it evolves!

Jasmine,

I am getting ready to rework this poem and I appreciate your comments.... very useful and helpful as I try to rebalance this and still keep the thing simple..... like the lessons learned.

onepapa