A poem for a demon
#9
(03-13-2015, 10:18 PM)10BIT Wrote:  Confusion, delusion, intrusion
a shatterd... crystalline pearl
hazy shining, glimmer crazy!
mind in pieces... truly pure
_________and white as snow.
Fiery heavens burn my skin
A wolf in disguise_________
____________ O am I keen!
A shimmering diamond,
___________I am devils kin.
I suppose the first line of 3 rhymes are supposed to create drama; but "confusion" here is my dominant thought.
I have no idea what  you are trying to say here; as many terms contradict each other: "hazy" but "shining", what is the thought behine "glimmer crazy". The "mind is in pieces" but "truly pure" doesn't make sense to me, and I don't see how the lines relate to each other: "Fiery heavens burn my skin", relates to "A wolf in disguise" how. I do see how you are trying to be innovative here. Loretta
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Messages In This Thread
A poem for a demon - by 10BIT - 03-13-2015, 10:18 PM
RE: A poem for a demon - by Tiger the Lion - 03-13-2015, 11:38 PM
RE: A poem for a demon - by shemthepenman - 03-14-2015, 12:09 AM
RE: A poem for a demon - by first_high_of_the_day - 03-14-2015, 12:18 AM
RE: A poem for a demon - by 10BIT - 03-14-2015, 11:59 AM
RE: A poem for a demon - by first_high_of_the_day - 03-14-2015, 09:41 PM
RE: A poem for a demon - by shemthepenman - 03-14-2015, 09:49 PM
RE: A poem for a demon - by brandontoh - 03-14-2015, 12:53 PM
RE: A poem for a demon - by LorettaYoung - 03-16-2015, 11:44 PM



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