03-08-2015, 11:50 PM
We aren't too far from each other! This morning the male wild turkeys in my yard were displaying for the first time, so the osprey should be arriving any moment!
I agree with ambrosia about keeping the ku-ish poem to a minimum of syllables, and what helps me to do this is after I've written one, I look for words that simply don't add anything---it's surprising sometimes the impact you can make with less.
while I do like the addition of the color scheme in the 2nd part, it does muddy the field as far clarity for me. Plus there's that nagging thought that osprey aren't doing much flying when the moon is out...I know you are hinting at it being fall, but how else can you capture that in a snapshot without the osprey being out of place? dunno.
I have been totally unhelpful wooo! My job is done.
mel.
I agree with ambrosia about keeping the ku-ish poem to a minimum of syllables, and what helps me to do this is after I've written one, I look for words that simply don't add anything---it's surprising sometimes the impact you can make with less.
while I do like the addition of the color scheme in the 2nd part, it does muddy the field as far clarity for me. Plus there's that nagging thought that osprey aren't doing much flying when the moon is out...I know you are hinting at it being fall, but how else can you capture that in a snapshot without the osprey being out of place? dunno.
I have been totally unhelpful wooo! My job is done.
mel.