file under L for Lost

[tectak]

malfunctioning lights
whine and flicker Strictly speaking, you need to space out your parameters here. The idea of "whining off a tile" irks...though I hate to suggest it in the puritan's camp, a comma may be needed just incorrectly before the "and". I can get the reflected sound so I am not entirely convinced by my own words. Your poem.
off once-white tiles

a drop of blood
falls from your nostril Again, pedantic pedant raised, this should be
"From your nostril,
a drop of blood
falls in slow motion, exploding
in small puffs of powder
from the off-white (really?  contrast would be good here) line
along the cistern " . Enough. I have difficulty with linguine lines, shortened breathlessly when I can see no merit in the technique. Others can.AIO
in slow motion, exploding
 
small puffs of powder
from the off-white line The off-white repeat, you will say, is emphatical. The snow, though, should not be so. It should be pure white. Are you implying that it is bad-cut? This may be lost on many and seen as irrelevant by most. The contrast would be nice
on the cistern
 
heavy gravity Charlie is uplifting...what is this diving all about? I ask because I do not know.
in the v of dive;
it’s happy hour

Cute, merc. My nits are sparse and personal. You stick it in serious so you want VFM. Hope I did enough...it is terse-verse, after all...especially if you write it in sombrely long lines rather than this cheery format.
Very best,
tectak