file under L for Lost

[just mercedes]

malfunctioning lights
whine and flicker
off once-white tiles This is a clever use of the word "off"

a drop of blood
falls from your nostril
in slow motion, explodingIn terms of new, unique, and special ideas, this image is a little lacking
 
small puffs of powder
from the off-white line
on the cistern
 
heavy gravity
in the v of dive; I particularly like this comparison.
it’s happy hour Part of me thinks this line could use slightly more clarity and directness. However, I worry that doing so could inhibit the poem.

Overall, I enjoyed this most because of the style in which it was written; also, while most poems suffer from verbosity in their pursuit of meaning, this poem does not. Please continue.

Thank you for reading, and sharing your thoughts. I'll keep them in mind when I revise this.