The Snowman
#3
(03-02-2015, 07:45 AM)ellajam Wrote:  
(03-02-2015, 06:00 AM)Rogue Yun Wrote:  The guardian of the winter stood
with frock of frost and grafted wood.
A witches' wand he wields in hand.
The master of his winter land.

Notes/Original
Notes: I looked over the "new poet mistakes," and it looks like I have made a few XD.  But this one felt inspiring to me. I was thinking I could change "wand" to "want." My mom says this is a good poem and helped me to revise it from the original. I'll post it below for reference sake. I tried to be subtle in the imagery, making the reader ponder (but hopefully not too long) about what exactly I'm talking about, and then hopefully see a little majesty and personification in a child's creation.

My goal is to keep my poems short, simple and convey the message powerfully and memorably in as few words as possible.

Thanks in advance for any feedback!

---
The guardian of the winter stood,
Frocked in frost and grafted wood.
With witches wand to wield in hand,
The master of his winter land.
---
Hi and welcome. Nice little poem you have here, you really seem to have a hold on the meter. Line 3 is lovely. I have a bit of a problem with grafted wood, I'm not sure what to picture.

Good job with this, hope you enjoy the site. Smile
Thank ye kindly! My mom had the same question. It's his stick arms Big Grin
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Messages In This Thread
The Snowman - by Rogue Yun - 03-02-2015, 06:00 AM
RE: The Snowman - by ellajam - 03-02-2015, 07:45 AM
RE: The Snowman - by Rogue Yun - 03-02-2015, 08:12 AM
RE: The Snowman - by ellajam - 03-02-2015, 08:15 AM
RE: The Snowman - by BelialNaoe - 03-02-2015, 10:58 AM
RE: The Snowman - by just mercedes - 03-02-2015, 12:13 PM
RE: The Snowman - by Tiger the Lion - 03-02-2015, 03:31 PM
RE: The Snowman - by Deadrise - 03-03-2015, 06:06 AM
RE: The Snowman - by SameName - 03-03-2015, 11:13 AM
RE: The Snowman - by jasmine.m.wardiya - 03-08-2015, 08:17 AM
RE: The Snowman - by Persephone - 03-14-2015, 10:20 AM



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