Stoking The Dream Machine

[Brownlie]

I'm really just reading this and providing comments. One thing is the line length is very long.

Stoking The Dream Machine
by Gabriel Magno
the rocking horse stood idle, the tricycle had rusted,
the grown up children had their share, and now are well adjusted.
Virginia mountains’ hollows, filled with dirt poor children playing, -- Why not mountain hollows? Also, you may want to consider something more creative than dirt poor. Could you imply that there is poverty? Idk, perhaps that is food for thought.
in blue jeans stained with red mud, as grandmas sat crocheting. -- Does the mud you are referring to have a more exact name?
the knock-kneed mailman suffers, as he walks through Winter’s blizzards, -- Why do you need to personify winter?
the hobos near the railroad track, place bets and race their lizards. -- Hobos race lizards? Is that something that actually happens?
the last train passing through, arrived at noon from Corpus Christi,
with sailors who had made a run, to barrooms serving whisky.
and me I’m passing time, as I try hard in understanding,
how crows atop the mayor’s car, did such a perfect landing.
here comes the ice cream truck, the silver bell is ringing,
the children playing in the park, drag feet to stop their swinging. -- I like this children dragging their feet bit. Not sure if you need the end rhyme, but the poem seems committed to it.
In droves the town folks came, to see the tiny tight rope walker,
the ticket seller smiles, as ladies swoon to this fast talker.
the bluebird circles in the air, to gather monarch butterflies,
If this a dream I’m floating in, I hope and pray it never dies. -- The syntax is awkward here.

 
I left some comments. The rhyming is a little forced at times, but there is some cool imagery.