OMG (work in progress edit 0.0001)

[Leah S.]

I felt an urge to paraphrase this poem's syntax into straightforward sentences. The exercise was actually quite interesting, (and difficult!) so I thought I'd share it with you. It seemed to me that the exercise highlighted some spots where your meaning and intentions are still unclear.
I still like the phrase, "pour belief into the analgesic pot" the best.

With ageing sinews strained by days, hard stretched and sprained beyond repair, N, who has ageing, worn-out sinews, unexpectedly finds himself praying
out from the scream of Munch's night, comes forth the unexpected prayer. (in the night) in between silent screams.
That god might slip into the gap between a life of constant pain (the fact) that 'god' might be present in the short moment between constant pain
and moments only salved by sleep (and even that, a dreamer's bane), and sleep (at least until N's wakened by a nightmare)
is not enough to pour belief into the analgesic pot. (but the possibility that god might be present in that short moment) is not enough to make N believe.
Each twinge that twists is small distress. What hurts us more than faith is not small pains cause minor cramps (in N's faith?) (but) N's faith does not hurt as much
the forlorn hope that by our prayers, the agonised will be relieved (neither does the hope that praying will relieve the world's pain)
but that at best, by grimaced grace, we by forgiveness are reprieved. (syntax alert!) ('but it (faith) doesn't hurt as much') as the fact that the best we can expect is to be reprieved because we have been forgiven by virtue of our grimaced grace.  
Forgiven for the withered claw, the shake that marks us in a crowd, (incomplete sentence) (who is?) forgiven/reprieved (by grimaced grace) for our various deformities,
the crooked spine, the humped-up back,the coprolalic curse out loud. infirmities, and profane verbal tics.
Some claim a deity above who will, once called, make sick souls well; some believe god performs healing miracles;
distrust though those, the  pious few, who love their god then kiss and  tell. but (N recommends that) you should distrust the pious few who 'love' their god, then tell the world that god fell for their seduction.
Create your lord and tailor him, into a myth that all can see; (N snarkily says,) ('go ahead',) create a made-up god that is exactly what you want, and then show him off.
for OMG is sinful  pride...you made him yours, make one for me. because saying 'Oh, My God' (or maybe just typing OMG) is wrong and stuck-up.... (but still,) you made a god for you, so N demands you make one for him too.
tectak
2013

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