02-27-2015, 04:22 AM
I had issues with the flow of this piece, by the end it was more of a story then a poem.
I also felt like the rhymes were a bit forced.
also there were parts that seemed to be just thrown in thier I felt like i took away from the original story
Ex)
"And me, I think I’ll patch my jeans, and jump into the water
and climb into my pickup truck, go searching for his daughter"
I also felt like the rhymes were a bit forced.
also there were parts that seemed to be just thrown in thier I felt like i took away from the original story
Ex)
"And me, I think I’ll patch my jeans, and jump into the water
and climb into my pickup truck, go searching for his daughter"