Poor Johnny Goodman

[BW BRINE]

This poem definitely has some strong resemblance to tall tales and folk songs, and so I'm a little worried it comes off as copy-cat poetry. I also think some of the images and metaphors you use like "waiting for the sun to set" are trite and hackneyed. I would avoid these. Also, and maybe this is just a personal thing, Johnny Goodman and apples makes me think of Johnny Appleseed, which bothers me for some reason.

I'm not so sure about the cop-cat poetry aspect (I still don't really see the resemblance to a folk song, if anything I guess I could see it being some sort of twisted children's rhyme). However, you might be on to something about the Johnny Appleseed relation, as it's a distinct possibility the name I picked was of some sort of Freudian derivative.

The particular image I had in mind, actually, was of my friend's backyard, which has a few scattered crab-apple trees on a small hill leading to a wooded area. You can look up through the trees at the at the top of the hill during the sunset, and it gives an ominous feeling. Now that I think about it, that may have been where the name came from too, although my friend's name isn't Johnny, I figure it could be. But anyway, thus the setting sun and twilight setting - it's not just supposed to be a metaphor but both literally and figuratively, the sun is setting on his misery. He's waiting until it's dark.

-BW