She was a Great Lady

[indarican]

She was a great lady,
changed my life.
Solemn strangers loom over me,
touching my shoulders.
Fake smiles,
faint I'm sorry whispers.
She lay in the box stiff cold.
Who is this woman?
Not my grandma, no, not my Grammy.
Sniffles.
They're going to close the door now.
Say goodbye, Laney, say goodbye.
I try to hold my breath,
push tears back.
Not today. No rain today. (Not today sounds a little repetitive)
A rumble from my throat shakes my frame
and the furious waters break my levees.
We drive too far.
A long line of cars. (I feel like these two lines can be omitted, keep the reader focused on the grandmother)
She was a great woman,
changed my life.
We walk through the trees.
The strangers envelop me.
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
Take a flower.  
Say goodbye, Laney, say goodbye.
And we're gone.

I really enjoyed this piece! I was able to feel the pain and sorrow that the speaker was going through to some extent.

"She lay in the box stiff cold.
Who is this woman?
Not my grandma, no, not my Grammy." These lines really touched me, felt like the speaker is in disbelief and really cant believe that thier grandmother is really gone. Maybe the grandmother was a really lively person and to see her just laying there cold is not how the speaker has ever seen their grandmother.

"Fake smiles,
faint I'm sorry whispers." To me this feels like the speaker is not very happy about having all the people around, like the people around are not genuine.

good job!