She was a Great Lady

[billy]

you may see this said on different poems, [ the first line is usually the most important and the 2nd line is usually the hook that keeps the reader in the poem] your 1st line feels week, it doesn't hold the reader. make it stronger by using an image.;

she was a carousel of good

the 2nd line is also week and (cliched)  make it an image as well.

the candy-floss in my life

the above are just suggestions. you can also tighten the poem up by removing anything that isn't needed. not sure the end third added anything to the poem. try and make everything add something.

oh, welcome to the site

She was a great lady,
changed my life.
Solemn strangers loom over me, no need really for [over me]
touching my shoulders.
Fake smiles, cliche.
faint I'm sorry whispers. faint and whispers imply the same thing try and create an image in the two lines.
She lay in the box stiff cold.
Who is this woman?
Not my grandma, no, not my Grammy.
Sniffles.
They're going to close the door now.
Say goodbye, Laney, say goodbye.
I try to hold my breath,
push tears back.
Not today. No rain today. this is an image, it's what you need to aim for in more of the poem.
A rumble from my throat shakes my frame
and the furious waters break my levees. as is this, a suggestion would be [the levee] instead of [my levees] [we know it's about you.]
We drive too far.
A long line of cars.
She was a great woman,
changed my life.
We walk through the trees.
The strangers envelop me.
Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
Take a flower.  
Say goodbye, Laney, say goodbye.
And we're gone.