Pleasant Dreams

[billy]

as far as the sexual aspects of the poem goes, they're pretty bland and cliched run of the mill .
the warmer aspect of the poem is weak. personally  i read it as an attempt at a sexually non explicit fuck poem which didn't really achieve it's climax.

these kind of writes have to be clever, witty, elusive but most of all they have to be original. that you attempted the thing get you some kudos but in general i think it need a lot of work throughout for the reasons mentioned.

Come sit here closely by my side
as I unzip my soul for you.

And take a hold with your warm hand,
and stroke these arms that reach for you.

And if you swallow all that I’ve said
I’ll realize you understand.

As I thrust deep inside your mind
you’ll come to see I was the man.

That you had hoped would come with you
on this a journey hard and long.

As you had hoped would never end
and felt my true love growing strong.

And as we seek another road
I will try harder to unload

More than I have for you today
and not to leave and go astray.

Until my passion does explode
in many warm unending streams.    

Of words I hope will once again
fulfill your wish of pleasant dreams.