02-20-2015, 06:01 AM
As I thrust deep inside your mind
you’ll come to see I was the man.
That you had hoped would come with you
on this a journey hard and long.
Is this one complete thought? Why the period after man?
I can see how you may have tried to make this poem romantic in nature unfortunately I could not get passed all the sexual innuendos. I almost felt like you were trying to make the reader guess if you were talking about sex or not, this may be insulting to some.
you’ll come to see I was the man.
That you had hoped would come with you
on this a journey hard and long.
Is this one complete thought? Why the period after man?
I can see how you may have tried to make this poem romantic in nature unfortunately I could not get passed all the sexual innuendos. I almost felt like you were trying to make the reader guess if you were talking about sex or not, this may be insulting to some.