02-20-2015, 03:58 AM
Thank you for the feedback Brownlie. I would like to offer my reasoning for including some of the sections you interpreted
in a different manner:
In the first stanza my repetition of "grey" was intended as an inclusion of "grey-area." For, in my mind, this grey-area is akin to obscurity, as it provides no definite answer to an issue. The "iron sludge" was supposed to be indicative of something that's not solid, and therefore not definite.
In the second stanza, the inclusion of "heretics raise extremest flags, when parties exist on the edges of a deep rift" was supposed to show how divided the citizens of America are on numerous topics. Also, thank you for censoring my over-use of words like "for": I use them too often in much of my poetry, when they are usually unnecessary.
Finally, I actually did not intend to use the word "returned" as a pun, but I can definitely understand how it displays itself that way.
Again, thank you for the comments, I hope this helps answer some of you questions!
in a different manner:
In the first stanza my repetition of "grey" was intended as an inclusion of "grey-area." For, in my mind, this grey-area is akin to obscurity, as it provides no definite answer to an issue. The "iron sludge" was supposed to be indicative of something that's not solid, and therefore not definite.
In the second stanza, the inclusion of "heretics raise extremest flags, when parties exist on the edges of a deep rift" was supposed to show how divided the citizens of America are on numerous topics. Also, thank you for censoring my over-use of words like "for": I use them too often in much of my poetry, when they are usually unnecessary.
Finally, I actually did not intend to use the word "returned" as a pun, but I can definitely understand how it displays itself that way.
Again, thank you for the comments, I hope this helps answer some of you questions!