passing me by

[indarican]

I think the piece was pretty good, and evoked a rather depressive feeling, the last three lines being the highlight. But, what does not work in the favor of the piece is the vagueness as there is no indication as to what causes the author so much sadness.

"One might wonder, how I,
The one with years of laughter
Can only want to cry."

One, actually does wonder.

Also, the sentence structure, specifically in:
"One might wonder, how I,
The one with years of laughter
Can only want to cry."
hampers the smoothness of the reading a little, i think, due to an abruptly short third line.

All in all, i enjoyed the read
Pretty piece. Cheers.

Thank you for your feedback. When writing I was trying to touch on the dual faces of depression, basically those that can smile through life but are really hurting on the inside.