02-17-2015, 11:58 AM
I really like the idea of creating something that will outlive you and the memory that comes with it, however I'd like to know more about the ghosts you refer to in the first and last stanzas. Is your persona watching the memory of building the fence play out in front of him and then the wind kind of sweeps his former self away? If so, I think that is another cool idea that could be enhanced by a bit of detail.
I really like that even though it is a fairly short poem, you managed to include a variety of different lessons. For example, working hard and through the aches and pains and again that idea of creating a legacy, something that will outlive you.
I think you have some really good ideas. Keep up the good work!
- mongolfiere
I really like that even though it is a fairly short poem, you managed to include a variety of different lessons. For example, working hard and through the aches and pains and again that idea of creating a legacy, something that will outlive you.
I think you have some really good ideas. Keep up the good work!
- mongolfiere