02-14-2015, 02:52 PM
Thank you Belkar,
I certainly like your idea to make the words more punchy, if I may paraphrase what you said there. I will certainly consider rhyming!
Yes, the 6th stanza is a special one. Without it, the poem would be a little too melodramatic, and to be honest, I need to throw something redemptive in when I write something like this just for the sake of my own personal emotional hygiene.
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Thank you Grace,
The metaphor of glass was a perplex one to explore. There was so much in it that I could relate to and convey, yet for something so apparently clear it is difficult to see all my intentions. That in itself is part of this: I have a difficulty in being honest. It seems like the more I try to say and expose, the less that is seen. Although I didn't write any specific stanza or line about that, it came through nevertheless.
So while I would hope to try and be clear, I somehow end up becoming invisible.
Paradox of proverbs is an extension of that. Here are some reasons I used it:
The idea I hoped to present is this:
The East and West can never meet, for them to do so would be a paradox. It is the same with Heaven and Earth, the two are completely different realms. So I figured that would set the "paradox" part, which I then needed to tie back in with the matter of reconciling a difficult identity. Proverb fit the bill because it is something that takes a profound truth and makes it simple and easy to understand: clear. But, for being so clear, why is it that I end up enigmatic? A paradox... of proverbs.
tl;dr: paradox of proverbs - something that should be clear & simple but yet is so self-contradictory & soundly reasonable all at the same moment that is is obscure.
Now, do I try and make some of these themes easier to see? There are so many of them in there, it's stuffed full of meaning. Do I focus on one specific thing? Or, should the thing I focus on the message of glass being both clear and invisible in as many angles as I can convey it?
------
I hope to edit this poem soon, but it may not be until Thursday. Hooray for 60 hour work weeks!
I certainly like your idea to make the words more punchy, if I may paraphrase what you said there. I will certainly consider rhyming!
Yes, the 6th stanza is a special one. Without it, the poem would be a little too melodramatic, and to be honest, I need to throw something redemptive in when I write something like this just for the sake of my own personal emotional hygiene.
------
Thank you Grace,
The metaphor of glass was a perplex one to explore. There was so much in it that I could relate to and convey, yet for something so apparently clear it is difficult to see all my intentions. That in itself is part of this: I have a difficulty in being honest. It seems like the more I try to say and expose, the less that is seen. Although I didn't write any specific stanza or line about that, it came through nevertheless.
So while I would hope to try and be clear, I somehow end up becoming invisible.
Paradox of proverbs is an extension of that. Here are some reasons I used it:
- the poetic device of alliteration
it is thought provoking
It presents an idea
it ties in stanza 6 with the end.
The idea I hoped to present is this:
The East and West can never meet, for them to do so would be a paradox. It is the same with Heaven and Earth, the two are completely different realms. So I figured that would set the "paradox" part, which I then needed to tie back in with the matter of reconciling a difficult identity. Proverb fit the bill because it is something that takes a profound truth and makes it simple and easy to understand: clear. But, for being so clear, why is it that I end up enigmatic? A paradox... of proverbs.
tl;dr: paradox of proverbs - something that should be clear & simple but yet is so self-contradictory & soundly reasonable all at the same moment that is is obscure.
Now, do I try and make some of these themes easier to see? There are so many of them in there, it's stuffed full of meaning. Do I focus on one specific thing? Or, should the thing I focus on the message of glass being both clear and invisible in as many angles as I can convey it?
------
I hope to edit this poem soon, but it may not be until Thursday. Hooray for 60 hour work weeks!