Has it

[Mitul Yadav]

hi there. i think the rhythm of this piece was too overpowering. Even though i think no one ever escapes fully the clutches of forced rhymes, this particular piece seemed greatly ridden with the same. The intention of the poem is pretty clear, and that's a plus, but the whole piece ends up sounding like a bad P.O.D song. Also, there were some grammatical errors, and in places, there is a forced structure given to a sentence, so as to fit it to rhyme. Considerable room for improvement. Best of luck!