02-06-2015, 12:54 AM
Yes, this edit tightens things up.
In answer to your question in the other thread, I am nearly 60.
I read the 'credence' line as referring to the narrator's credence, and took it to mean that he no longer believes in much of anything, his capacity to suspend disbelief having departed with his youth.
Regarding hourglasses, the only relationship that 'time' has to 'sand' (as far as I know) is in that antiquated device, or some other old-fangled sand-clock. We do still use them as egg timers, though.
I read this version as saying that 'we' dare not let go our hands to start clapping, for fear that will signal the end of the play. Hope that's right.
About the last two lines....I think you need to add something that gives us your motivation for sticking it out to the end of the worsening play...and helps the reader empathize instead of hearing it as a typical complaint (whine) about getting old.
Best, Leah
In answer to your question in the other thread, I am nearly 60.
I read the 'credence' line as referring to the narrator's credence, and took it to mean that he no longer believes in much of anything, his capacity to suspend disbelief having departed with his youth.
Regarding hourglasses, the only relationship that 'time' has to 'sand' (as far as I know) is in that antiquated device, or some other old-fangled sand-clock. We do still use them as egg timers, though.
I read this version as saying that 'we' dare not let go our hands to start clapping, for fear that will signal the end of the play. Hope that's right.
About the last two lines....I think you need to add something that gives us your motivation for sticking it out to the end of the worsening play...and helps the reader empathize instead of hearing it as a typical complaint (whine) about getting old.
Best, Leah