02-05-2015, 10:55 PM
a good triolet
i like how you change the punctuation on the first repeating line. for some reason it makes me think of the usa
i also like the naturalistic feel of the poem.
no constructive feedback to speak of apart from saying it works well. if i were forced to make a negative comment it would be ask [into] or [onto] the mountain face; niggly i know but an option to consider
i like how you change the punctuation on the first repeating line. for some reason it makes me think of the usa
i also like the naturalistic feel of the poem.no constructive feedback to speak of apart from saying it works well. if i were forced to make a negative comment it would be ask [into] or [onto] the mountain face; niggly i know but an option to consider
(02-05-2015, 10:26 PM)ellajam Wrote: Securely planted, deep in place
atop a solid granite ledge,
attached into the mountain face
securely planted deep. In place
of freedom, settled in its space,
an eaglet with no urge to fledge,
securely planted, deep in place,
atop a solid granite ledge.