Eyes to See

[Nathan Sage]

Nathan Sage,

This seems more pseudo-philosophical rhetoric. There is no stating of thesis and following a logical analysis of the thesis to show the premiss is logically sound as is generally done in philosophy. There are also obviously dubious statements such as "We are much more than one-dimensional beings." In science we are four dimensional beings; three of space and one of time. Philosophically there would have to be some basic presuppositions to even come close to critiquing this subject, and that is 4 dimensions. The only thing that can exist in one dimension is a point, that is all. So your statement that humans are one dimensional beings is completely senseless.

"Many will try to push through the tiny cracks expertly placed to synthesize freedom."

What the devil is "synthesized freedom?"

Is this suppose to arise out of a Hegelian triad? What is freedom synthesized from?
"to form (a material or abstract entity) by combining parts or elements (opposed to analyze )"
As far as I can tell it is simply a flashy word that makes absolutely no sense.


"Our hubris cannot grow so large as to think we individually stand a chance of victory over a society expertly skilled in limiting potential."

What does hubris have to do with this. Are you sure you know what the word means? Fulfilling one's potential is always a struggle whether society is oppressive or not. Or are you saying that someone like Galileo Galilei had it easy? This is a totally spurious assertion.

Most of your lines are pure sophism, or if you prefer, are "full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."  - McBeth, SCENE V.    

I would recommend dropping the philosophizing until you pass through your sophomoric stage, or maybe get better acquainted with what you are trying to discuss; or possibly a nice poem, we are after all a poetry workshop. Something to consider.    

Welcome to the site,

Dale    

PS I did write a poem for you For Nathan Sage
   
         

Wow, thank you so much for forming such a well thought out critique. I still haven't absorbed it all but the brutal honesty you use to question each pillar within my work indicates the respect you have for novice writers, showing them quite early their fault of their own hubris (let me know once again if I'm not using it right). I mean, what else could it be but respect?
And I quite enjoyed your poem, everything unsaid was a testament to your skill and talent. I would begin to critique the plausibility of questioning a crease for a hair, but maybe it's in the overeagerness to find one, I mean, at least you weren't hungry lol. Never the less, that would be ignoring the true beauty of it, I really did laugh out loud btw. Cheers.