A Deeper Cut

[heslopian]

I'm not really in the mood to give this a line-by-line dissection, and might never be. Because its form is so self-reliant and it co-exists so neatly with the short story form, there's nothing I really want to add or remove for the sake of rhythm, cohesion etc. It's a beautifully sad and horrible poem, though not self-pitying or sentimental enough to be truly depressing. Rather, it looks out on a life through the lens of one event and perfectly captures it, like a colourful butterfly. From the information given we can map out every hour of the main character's life, even though that information is fairly sparse, and vague in places.
The occasional rhymes and half-rhymes, like "show" and "go" in verse five and "coke" and "throat" in verse six, are tremendously effective. They break the monotony of what could have been an all-too-easy-to-choke-down-in-one semi-prose free verse poem. I liked this one a lot. It's a real modern tragedy. Thank you for the read