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A Deeper Cut
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01-15-2015, 02:30 AM
This needs to be cleaned up, and I'm quite lazy right now. However, there are some very good lines here. The part about carving the roast beef was great (It's possible it would be better in relation to something besides cutting, but it is a good detail). I would be hesitant to advise you to cut some of your best lines here. However, I agree with the adjective comment. For instance, I don't think you need abused and leathery.
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A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 06-14-2012, 02:09 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by tectak - 06-14-2012, 04:37 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Philatone - 06-14-2012, 07:24 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by billy - 06-14-2012, 07:28 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 06-14-2012, 02:18 PM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by tectak - 06-14-2012, 08:46 PM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 06-15-2012, 02:31 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Universalchild - 06-18-2012, 07:23 PM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Kubla Khan - 01-14-2015, 09:09 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-14-2015, 01:23 PM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Brownlie - 01-15-2015, 02:30 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Leah S. - 01-15-2015, 03:09 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by bena - 01-15-2015, 03:31 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by ChristopherSea - 01-15-2015, 04:01 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Leah S. - 01-15-2015, 04:44 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-15-2015, 09:59 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Leah S. - 01-16-2015, 01:55 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-16-2015, 02:52 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Leah S. - 01-16-2015, 05:32 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-16-2015, 08:14 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by heslopian - 01-16-2015, 08:24 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-16-2015, 12:04 PM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by tectak - 01-21-2015, 12:30 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-21-2015, 05:56 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by tectak - 01-21-2015, 08:34 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-21-2015, 09:19 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by milo - 01-21-2015, 10:00 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-21-2015, 11:04 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by milo - 01-21-2015, 11:15 AM
RE: A Deeper Cut - by Erthona - 01-21-2015, 01:40 PM
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