01-14-2015, 01:10 PM
A nice imagery. I really enjoy simple poems that paint clear pictures. It seems the style in which it was written tries to stretch two sentences in a longer poem which does not fool the reader. Of course we have to write the way we feel it come to us. So I would say this, would it come naturally to you in this form or in a more classical sentence form? I would enjoy more verses of this style to continue the poem
Cheers
Cheers