Mingled in blood

[SilvanusNath]

Needs more depth; the phrases could do with more meaning behind them. I’m not sure what mingled in blood means, so if you used words that are more relevant to that refrain your poem would be better. The stanzas just don’t really come together; every symbol and image should be paired with a small explanation right after; each line is a story that needs to be continued or it falls apart.