Blind Desire:

[SilvanusNath]

I believe the third line should be reordered; sounds awkward. The impression left is at odds with the rest of the poem. Line seven too. I don’t think passion is the word for what you’re describing, desire fits better. Nice duality, although it is lacking in rhythm. Rhythm would make the poem more consistent. There are lines that sound very good, but it should be spread throughout the poem instead of isolated to a few lines. There are a few cliches: demons, phantom. whether it is a cliché depends on how it is used. remember that.