sanctuary

[cjchaffin]

sanctuary

Candles flicker
with begged forgiveness, "begged forgiveness" works nicely. Very simple yet effective move: object as emotional/expressive medium.

each tender wick 
a glowing reminder, This is my least favorite section, which isn't saying much since it's still pretty good. Something about "tender wick" and "glowing reminder"...I feel like there must be ways to spruce these lines up while maintaining the brevity.

each drop of wax
a tear sliding down
the father's cheek. Haunting imagery, really. Hot wax, tears... truly sad. Two scenes at the same time. Nice move.

Having lit them all,
I wait for him to come. I like how the subjective "I" only comes in at the end. The remainder of the poem feels rather removed from the situation, and this ending nicely brings it all back to you, the author.

Hope the critique helps. Great Poem.

thanks aj, much appreciated. i'm still debating what to do to this to clean it up but i will hopefully post an edit soon.

sanctuary

Candles flicker
with begged forgiveness,

each tender wick
a glowing reminder,

each drop of wax
a tear sliding down
the father's cheek.

Having lit them all,
I wait for him to come.

I love this poem. A sanctuary of peace, light &
prayers. It made me think of a quote from Psalms
"My soul waits in silence for God alone".  The piece
makes sense to me  if  "father" and "he" are read as
Father and He.

thanks grace. that is one interpretation, yes. glad you got out of it what you did