Vow of Silence;

[ThePen]

Well the dawn draws nigh
in the pale blue sky
and the birds outside in song;
as I close my eyes
and droop my head
and wonder what went wrong.
Till the sun sits high
in some grey-white sky
outside kids laugh and play;
but I don't get far
before she returns
and I wonder what to say;
but the silence lingers
till the day-light dwindles
and the dusk stalks gently on;
now the streets are quiet
life gone with the light
and she was right all along.
But it's night time now
and I've kept my vow
and the birds have quit their song;
and I wonder, I wonder
if before I die,
if I'll ever sing along.

---

P.S The simplicity of it was intentional as to convey the apathy behind the 'misery-of-it-all'.

Hi,
I like your poem a lot. I admire the fact that it is structured and actually has a progression. You start with a description of dawn and end with a description of night.
Essentially, you spent a day without speaking. At the same time, I find the phrase "if before I die" to be a bit much. It seems to make your poetry a bit morose, almost bleak.
There is progression in your poem but I do not get the sense of imagery.