Uncertainty

[Leah S.]

Uncertainty

Excuse me,
          sorry to bother you.
                    I'd never do this otherwise, but

my car is parked down the block
          near the hotel down the street.
                    The past two hours, I've been looking for help

circling this parking garage.
          The last guy told me "Go to hell."
                     I don't understand why he'd be so cruel.

You see me here—I'm wearing casual clothes,
          I'm well-spoken,
                     I'm not some bum.

I don't need directions.
          I know my way there.
                     I just need fourteen dollars for parking.

It's forty total, but I have cash for the rest.
          I'm just fourteen dollars short and
                     I left my credit cards in my wallet back home.

I'm from out of town, a few hours north actually.
          I'm a substitute at the university.
                      I'm a professor, I teach computer science.

I have my ID
           if you want to see it, and my cellphone, but there's
                      no one for me to call that lives in town.

My mom passed away a few weeks ago
           and I'm having a rough time.
                       I drove hours to get here and I've been trying

to find someone who'll lend me a hand.
           I already asked the front desk at the hotel and
                      they can't help me.

I promise this isn't some ploy.
            I just want to get home to my wife.
                       All I need is fourteen dollars.

For some reason, when I read this, I was in the point of view of the person being approached, not the person speaking.
I found myself listening very carefully and suspiciously to the guy's story and kept stumbling over discrepancies that made me trust him even less.
I assumed that you were trying to create uncertainty in the reader, and you succeeded with me. I thought it was well done, IF the discrepancies were intentional (why does he need to get in the parking garage if all he wants is to get home to his wife? Why did he drive hours to get here and what does his mother passing away two weeks ago have to do with anything? Etc, etc, etc) and if you did want to create uncertainty in the reader. I liked that it made me uncomfortable to read it, and that it caused me to speculate pretty intensely about the guy asking for money.