Vow of Silence;

[shootthestar25]

I agree with the person who suggested you not begin with "Well". It works fine without it, and, I'd say, starts it off more powerfully. There are a couple of lines that cause the rhythm to stumble a bit: "but I don't get far/ before she returns" and "Life gone with the light." The very end is repetitive, with two lines starting with "if." I think you should change it to "before I die" instead of "if before I die".

I also agree with the comment about the poem having a sense of time lapsing. This is brought on by various lines such as "dawn draws nigh" and "sun sits high" and "dusk stalks gently on." You've created this sense of the day completely not caring that this person is so distraught, and is just going through the motions. I appreciate this, since it is in contrast to many poets who use the weather to mirror the feelings of the subjects.