12-31-2014, 06:30 PM
Hi Crow,
been awayfor a while so thought i would root around in the back pages and found this (and quite a few others, without any comments).
first off i enjoyed the story, I don't really go for prologs (and often don't bother reading them...I get anoyed with the idea of needing a pre-story before my story and think "if you want to write a story for me to read...just start the dam story already!" (But probably that's just me and I'm sure everyone else enjoys a good prolog).
All this said if you had not told me it was the prolog I would now be saying what a fantastic hook into a story. You have made me want to know more and find out just exactly hat sort of trip this man is on.
As to the actual lines / read, I did have a couple of stumbles and basically for the most part I would say listen to your read because where you stumbled out loud I stumbled reading to myself.
One part that did make me double back was the referance to them as daisies for the first time. I had missed the yellow petal referance to flowers (first word rush - people skip details... it take a few seconds for the brain to engage with the eyes). Kind of needed to be told they were yellow daisy petals.
I must say that after listening to your read I think i got it a lot better. The laconic, otherworldly tone made a lot of sense of the lines, where as I had not immediatly picked this up until almost near the end from my read.
How does the music fit with a story? (Is it a sort of war of the worlds audio book?)
been awayfor a while so thought i would root around in the back pages and found this (and quite a few others, without any comments).
first off i enjoyed the story, I don't really go for prologs (and often don't bother reading them...I get anoyed with the idea of needing a pre-story before my story and think "if you want to write a story for me to read...just start the dam story already!" (But probably that's just me and I'm sure everyone else enjoys a good prolog).
All this said if you had not told me it was the prolog I would now be saying what a fantastic hook into a story. You have made me want to know more and find out just exactly hat sort of trip this man is on.
As to the actual lines / read, I did have a couple of stumbles and basically for the most part I would say listen to your read because where you stumbled out loud I stumbled reading to myself.
One part that did make me double back was the referance to them as daisies for the first time. I had missed the yellow petal referance to flowers (first word rush - people skip details... it take a few seconds for the brain to engage with the eyes). Kind of needed to be told they were yellow daisy petals.
I must say that after listening to your read I think i got it a lot better. The laconic, otherworldly tone made a lot of sense of the lines, where as I had not immediatly picked this up until almost near the end from my read.
How does the music fit with a story? (Is it a sort of war of the worlds audio book?)