Mistletoe
#4
(12-24-2014, 07:46 AM)Tale of Memories Wrote:  
(12-21-2014, 02:25 AM)Brownlie Wrote:   

We’ve all forgotten that a mild toxin
placed above the hearth is ordered to bid lips,
But embalmed potpourri’s that circles in infinity
Is not cessation manifested in a merry corpse.
The end, which is a singular of many, is in the couples.
Destined for the mistletoe,
their odds increase with years together.
This is very interesting. "Above the hearth" makes me think of a forgotten urn, and you're implying that what matters is love and living before the end.

I like how I can't get a firm grasp of your poems intent because it makes me read it again and again and draw my own conclusions.

Do you mean to have an apostrophe after "potpourri"?
(12-28-2014, 11:33 AM)amiwrite Wrote:  I love the way you write it's so raw and straight forward
This  is watery crit with no value whatsoever other than to comment upon yourself. Please try to enter in to the spirit of the site and offer suggestions which may help the author improve his craft....after all, that is what you would expect in return.
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Messages In This Thread
Mistletoe - by Brownlie - 12-21-2014, 02:25 AM
RE: Mistletoe - by amiwrite - 12-28-2014, 11:33 AM
RE: Mistletoe - by tectak - 12-29-2014, 03:07 AM
RE: Mistletoe - by Erthona - 12-29-2014, 03:37 AM
RE: Mistletoe - by Brownlie - 12-29-2014, 05:15 AM
RE: Mistletoe - by Erthona - 12-29-2014, 11:17 AM



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