There's this girl I'd like to write about

[StanleyZ]

I think this sheds an underused point of view into a poem of implicitly deep longing in a way that isn't too creepy... I think the weird is good!

If you're going to break the political correctiveness code, why not go all the way and put something in there besides "chest"...you've spent the entire poem settting me up and then you cop out with "chest?"...are you really looking to sneek peek a look at something so benign as a chest?  Way too wordy, too cute with all the "or's" and "at least's"....it's almost a parady at the end.  But you know something...the line breaks are more than nice and from an entirely male perspective, this is exactly what men try and avoid to not look stupid. Jerry Seinfeld has made a fortune with this attitude. Decide what kind of piece you really want to write and then be more consistent toward that goal.  Nice poem. I enjoyed reading this.

I see your point. I did want this to be cute and innocent in a way, because that's the way the chest in question makes me feel. Maybe I should elaborate just how special this chest really is, I mean when this girl bends down it's like you're in a bowling alley staring down a six-ten split! Thank you so much for your opinion, it almost encourages me more than a completely negative review. ^.^