a young girl, limping edit #1

[Leah S.]

"Ack! I posted my reply twice, and when I deleted it, it deleted both of them! Trying again.

Quibble: A female colt would be a filly not a foal.

I love the revision,
but there is still something wrong with these lines:
Her walk mimics a wounded animal,
has alerted some cortical reflex
in the predator brain."
Grammatically it should be one of the following:

"Her walk mimics a wounded animal;
alerts....." OR
"Her walk, that mimics a wounded animal,
has alerted......" OR
"Her walk mimics a wounded animal.
It has alerted....."
Sorry to be the grammar police.