a young girl, limping edit #1

[QDeathstar]

a young girl limps
 
 
along the city street towards me //i think that this line is a bit wordy. why along?
all legs and wobbly ankles, like a foal
new-born;
her sandals, with their inches-think soles
of clunky wood
almost hobble her, so her steps are tiny
and she teeters at the start of each one,
testing the surface
 
three men working in a hole in the road
all look up at once, all gazes locked // I didn't like the repetition of all in this line, or the word locked. Locked is kind of liked trapped which makes it seem like they are being tricked/trapped, but If they are the predators, that can't be.
on her, their web of wires ignored
 
her walk mimics
a wounded animal, has alerted
some cortical reflex in the predator brain. //I like how her hobbled walk looks like a wounded animal, easy prey. I can pretty much picture it. This is feminist garbage though, all men aren't predators.
 
all around me, men turn to stare
 
and they’re all spiders, tensed
to watch the butterfly with damp wings
struggle against the surface
 

The poem has some interesting imagery, but lacks punctuation and generalizes too much to be taken seriously.