The Nothing

[ajcohen613]

 
I need voice.
 
Chorus, please relieve these words
of whatever role they were meant to perform
and distract them with some chocolate. This made me laugh. We all need some relieving chocolate from time to time
 
Voice
searching for a tragicomic monologue
in a plateau of mimetic psychodrama. Great, modern verse. It expresses so much in simple jargon.
 
Missed buses and abandoned strip malls This line creates a strong sense of urban disaffection, which I like.
are further unexplained
through the efforts of another confused writer.
 
            the nothing
            I want to tell you about
            the you
            I want to express everything about
            nothing to Good choice with the italics. It singles this verse out as the unadulterated core of the poem.
 
I need voice.
 
The white howl of a small town
is heard until it is felt, Gently menacing line, like something out of Stephen King.
until it is the texture of mute struggles,
until it is a disposition nearing diagnosis. Real sense of something wicked this way coming. Beautifully arranged verse.
 
The Printing Press of All-Things Is the dash needed? It kind of confused the meaning for me, because it makes "All-Things" sound like a race of beings, a la mermaids or babadooks.
should take the pains of footnoting each speck
that comprises each speck A reference to quantam mechanics? Either way, these two lines are great.  
so I can be even less sure
of what, of who, of why.
 
Voice. Is this necessary? The previous verse's "why", I think, would be a stronger close.

I really, really like this poem. It's elegantly crafted and, though I won't presume to know what it's about exactly, it made me think of depression, particularly the kind Sylvia Plath sometimes wrote of, which was the fear and feeling of absolute nothing.

Thanks. I was actually inspired by a bad/taxing acid trip in writing this poem. It isn't necessarily meant to be sad/depressing, but rather confused, displaced, mortal, roundabout. I appreciate your comment on the ending; I felt forced to end with "voice" and I'm realizing now that the poem might benefit from a different ending.