Ablaze (need help with the edit)

[tectak]

Awake in the flame,
like lucid dreaming in hell
Intoxicating, a fragrance folded within thoughts
Sweet torment she won't let go of.
Unending visions -- waltz on swirls of passion
Fatigued soul falling in an abyss
where a desperate sightlessness surrounds.
Fingers fumbling for a hand,
only to be seared by molten betrayals.
Moments shared, togetherness; demons in saints'
clothes,
and their chants that cast her heart
into darkness.

Just to give you some idea of how manical your ranging thoughts come across I would like you to read what you have written below and tell me if you can spot the difference in meaning firom the original.

Moments shared, togetherness; demons in saints'
clothes,
like lucid dreaming in hell
where a desperate sightlessness surrounds
Fatigued soul falling in an abyss
Intoxicating, a fragrance folded within thoughts
and their chants that cast her heart
into darkness.
only to be seared by molten betrayals.
Fingers fumbling for a hand,
Sweet torment she won't let go of.
Unending visions -- waltz on swirls of passion
Awake in the flame.

Nope. nor can I. You see, it is random and random thoughts can be rearranged...er...randomly, without increase or decrease in meaning. All you have done is drop a bucketful of vaguely poetic and certainly pedantic chinese fortune cookie contents on to the page and it just won't do.
Sorry, but Merry Christmas anyway.
Best,
tectak
PS, Take heed of Erthona. Capitals on line starts will not save you.