12-19-2014, 04:07 AM
Ell,
I have no problem with the word "still" per se. As you state, I also think it is a tone setting word and I am not quick to suggests its removal for being inconsequential. I only suggested cutting it because of the effect on the rhythmic quality on the line, not because of any perceived redundancy. L6 is still off, but I couldn't figure a better way without doing some sort of weird syntactical oddity. Hey I like that 2001 A syntactical oddity. I feel a short story coming on.
Dale
I have no problem with the word "still" per se. As you state, I also think it is a tone setting word and I am not quick to suggests its removal for being inconsequential. I only suggested cutting it because of the effect on the rhythmic quality on the line, not because of any perceived redundancy. L6 is still off, but I couldn't figure a better way without doing some sort of weird syntactical oddity. Hey I like that 2001 A syntactical oddity. I feel a short story coming on.
Dale
How long after picking up the brush, the first masterpiece?
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.
The goal is not to obfuscate that which is clear, but make clear that which isn't.