12-17-2014, 03:40 AM
I like it, but I will second a comment earlier:
Instead of this:
"we ache cause we do
share your wounds. "
Try this:
we ache because
we share your wounds
It makes much more sense (what you have now doesn't make sense at all). It also just sounds better. You've yet to make the changes into your edit so I would recommend doing that now.
-BW
Instead of this:
"we ache cause we do
share your wounds. "
Try this:
we ache because
we share your wounds
It makes much more sense (what you have now doesn't make sense at all). It also just sounds better. You've yet to make the changes into your edit so I would recommend doing that now.
-BW