12-16-2014, 12:44 PM
So - I like the imagery, especially with the yawning dog over the raging storm outside. I can feel it.
However, I don't think I get the bears at the end. Are you trying to parallel the scene you've set before us with the family? It just seems to come out of the blue and end there.
If you'd like to create just one stop-image in time, then do so; I don't feel there is any need to add the part about the bears at all, unless it's an underlying theme throughout (rather than a quip at the end).
-BW
However, I don't think I get the bears at the end. Are you trying to parallel the scene you've set before us with the family? It just seems to come out of the blue and end there.
If you'd like to create just one stop-image in time, then do so; I don't feel there is any need to add the part about the bears at all, unless it's an underlying theme throughout (rather than a quip at the end).
-BW