12-14-2014, 01:19 AM
(11-25-2014, 02:40 AM)cjchaffin Wrote:Okay, I'm a dunderhead. I'm also Catholic so I'm doubly guilty of being a dunderhead. Perhaps a capital on Father would nudge us dunderheads a bit more. I am a big fan of dual meaning words (Sanctuary) and should have known better. I'm liking the poem more and more after several readings. Sometimes I read…let it go a couple of days and try again. Still a question for me on the logic of the candles and their asking for forgiveness, but with the current state of Priesthood and abuse rampaging through the church, this becomes a much more compelling theme. Speaking of capitals (Him…perhaps another nudge? Just a thought).(11-22-2014, 12:57 PM)71degrees Wrote:thanks 71. i was hoping that the title would clue the reader to the poem's setting, and that paired with the image of candles and prayers and the presence of "the father" (whose identity i purposely left ambiguous), everything would make sense. maybe it doesn't work as well as i'd hoped since you're having trouble getting there.(11-22-2014, 06:28 AM)cjchaffin Wrote: sanctuaryLike brevity poems. Like this one. And yet…looking for something new in the candles image. I'm even wondering why the image is plural and why they are all lit. Your word choices are "interesting"…and yet. Candles asking for forgiveness for doing the job for which they were intended? Okay. Is that what a father does? Don't wait too long…a candle only burns so long. But wait…you have more than one. I'm confused by the imagery. Mood is excellent. I even sympathize with the narrator and the last line / image is a keeper. I'm just not sure how you got there.
Candles flicker
with begged forgiveness,
each tender wick
a glowing reminder,
each drop of wax
a tear sliding down
the father's cheek.
Having lit them all,
I wait for him to come.
On another level, find a copy of Winesburg, Ohio and read the chapter(s) about the priest. Hell, read the whole book, it's worth the read. I see some of the same imagery here. It's an oldie but goodie book and might give you a bit more insight into a Father's thoughts.

