sanctuary

[Samantha Susan]

I do like the crisp and brief nature of this poem, but feel that the meaning is a bit unclear. Specifically, the speaker's relation to "the father" mentioned in line 7. Also, there could be a small change to line 2 to enhance the flow a bit. I also agree with Ribo on the substitution of flicker for quiver. I think it would create a nice alliteration of the sounds. Overall a nice poem.